I’ve been a member of the Association of Pet Loss and Bereavement (APLB) for a number of years. It’s a resource I recommend to clients who may be having trouble dealing with some of the feelings they have as they face the upcoming loss or after losing their pet.
I’ve been trying to explain some of what we’re going through in our house to people who aren’t “dog people”.
I think the following quotes from an article Dr. Wallace Sife wrote for the APLB spring newsletter do a pretty good job of starting the explanation:
“It has been said that the worst bereavement anyone can go through is the loss of a child. Here, there are other complex factors involved that normally don’t come into play. But in many ways the loss of a beloved pet can be similar to the bereavement for a child. Our companion animals have a complete reliance on us –for everything. We train, nurture and raise them as we would a special person, and we love them dearly, completely protecting and nurturing them. And the pure love they give us back is like that of an adoring needy child who never grows up. Their personalities become an important part of us, and when they die the grief is unique and terrible. A very private bond and sense of special dependency and love is suddenly shattered. This is like no other kind of loss.”
“Our bonds with our beloved pets are in many ways stronger, purer, and far more intimate than with most others of our own species. We feel loved and secure in sharing our secret souls with them. How often can this be safely done – even with someone who is very close? So when a dear pet’s life ends, it really is very understandable and normal for us to grieve and suffer a profound and different kind of bereavement.”
“We all have the potential of being made into better people by our cherished passed-on dear ones. How we each end up celebrating their past lives and integrating them into our own ongoing existence makes all the difference.”
